Hope of Flight
by Counter Spark
Summary: What happened before Niki left for New Orleans?  Hope, salvation, and afternoon flights in New York.  NikiNathan.


**Title: **Hope of Flight

**Author: **Counter Spark

**Disclaimer: **Yep. Tim Kring and NBC and those darned writers who are ruining season 2 own these characters. Not me. Shame, I know.

**Summary: **What happened before Niki left for New Orleans. Hope, salvation, and afternoon flights in New York. Niki/Nathan.

**Author's Note: **Here's my idea of what happened before Niki left the company to go see Micah in New Orleans. Hopefully you like it, friends. With that said, please enjoy!

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She's just like me- she had been flying, and now she was stuck in the horrible descent, falling away from everything she knew. Well, with me it's a tad more literal, but the metaphoric qualities lend itself to her situation quite nicely, I think.

The way she had been staring at me, the syringe stabbing into her flesh, held by her own trembling hand. Part of me wishes that Niki hadn't pulled through the nightmare when she did; the vengeful eyes of Jessica had been fixed on me, syringe pulsing in her grasp like the most deadly of weapons, and she was going to take it away from me. My power. But like some sort of twisted form of magic, I saw the evil in her eyes diminish, and suddenly a beautiful, helpless woman was staring at me, deciding in the briefest of seconds that she'd rather harm herself than harm me. And who was I to her? I brushed her hair through my fingers- I told her she was strong...whispered that she would be okay.

But she's not going to be okay, and I know that now. The virus was pumping through her veins...the virus that I should have. It didn't make sense. She had a son. I do, too...two sons, in fact, but something about her tells me that she lives for her child. And when was the last time I got to see my children? The few glimpses in time in which I could squeeze myself through the playground fence and hold my children while their teacher glared at me like some sort of predator? The sadness in their eyes told me that they had accepted it- I was hardly a father. A few more months of Heidi desensitizing them and they'll hate me as much as she does, if it's possible. I thought that I could right the wrongs I had done to my first daughter with my two sons, but I failed them as well. I'm a failure all around. But this woman...this strong woman...she was dying in that small, prison-like room, eyes staring into nothing, the realization that she was fading into death, her reason for life so very far away from her. It wasn't fair.

I stood outside of the glass door, gazing at her. It had been a long time since I felt anything akin to sympathy for anyone else other than myself- I'd been dripping in my own self-pity for such a long time that nothing seemed substantial enough to divert my eyes from my own pain. I'd lost a brother (or thought I had- his mortality was now a mystery), become horribly disfigured, my wife left me, and I was somehow cured from the sight of that scalded face that still haunted me. But her sufferings made mine look like those of a petulant child. She'd lost her identity, she had killed with no control, she had hurt the ones she loved because of Jessica, she'd lost her husband, and now she was dying, far away from the last person she had left- her son. I wanted to hold her, no strings attached. I wanted to take that pain away from her, even for the smallest of seconds.

Biting my lip, I walked in the door.

She looked up at me, a rare smile springing on her face. "Nathan," she breathed, turning away from the wall and towards me, eyes shining. Had she been crying? My eyes rested on the bandage over her forearm, the blue spreading out from the veins beneath it.

"Hello, Niki." I felt somewhat like an imposter. How could I, who knew nothing of her true pain, really comfort her? But I had to try- I couldn't stand to see her so miserably and unjustly _alone_. "How are you feeling?" _She's dying, you idiot, _I told myself, shoving my hands into my pockets.

She shrugged and tried for a smile. I wasn't convinced; a deep sadness was now imprinted in her lovely blue eyes, traces of tears twinkling on their edges. "Oh, I'm alright. I don't feel anything right now, so I'm hoping they made a mistake with the whole death diagnosis thing."

"Everybody makes mistakes." It was a foolish hope, but at least it was hope. A dying woman needed hope, be it foolish or not. She smiled up at me, her face breaking into a look of utter radiance that I'd never seen in anyone else before. I reminded me of the first time we met in Las Vegas- something that she, most likely, had blocked out of her memory. But I still held on to it. I held on to the talks we shared walking around the blackjack table. She was so lovely- she was Niki. I made love to Jessica that night, and I remember how strange it felt...Well, she had screwed my brains out, to be frank with you, but I would have preferred saying goodbye to Niki than experience the odd sensation that I was having sex with a completely different person. I walked over and sat down next to her, pulling up a chair beside the long medical bad that she sat on. "I uh...I wanted to talk to you, Niki."

I hated how awkward that came out. "Sure," she had said, turning her body towards me in full attention. There seemed to be an eagerness to her, as though she desired anything to take her mind away from her approaching doom.

"Well, basically...I just wanted to tell you thanks. Thanks and sorry."

She cocked her head, blonde hair falling past her shoulders. "What do you mean, 'sorry'?"

My heart was squeezing in my chest, and for one moment I hated the world; I hated the fact that this woman before me was going to die. The honesty in her eyes was ripping me apart inside. In that moment, she seemed to me like a saint. Sure, a saint that had torn someone in half, but a saint nonetheless. I wanted her to guide me, not to die. I cleared my throat and elaborated for her, my eyes not leaving hers for one split second. "I've been playing it over in my mind ever since it happened. You, standing there with the syringe. I could've done something, you know?" I tried to flash her a smile, but it felt so fake and foreign on my lips, ones that hadn't smiled in so long. "I could've grabbed it out of your hands...I could've just let you stab me...then you wouldn't have stabbed yourself...I mean, endless possibilities, really."

Her eyes were boring into mine. "You can't be serious, can you?"

I was caught of guard and somewhat afraid, the inner-congressman in me ready to debate. "What?"

"Nathan, you did everything right. You're fooling yourself." I saw her extend her hand out and felt it's warmth spread on my shoulder. "Okay, let's say you tried to take the syringe away from me. Jessica would have ripped you in half. Sorry to break it to you, Nathan. Scenario B, I stab you with the syringe. Then I wouldn't have had anyone to talk me down...I probably would've killed everyone if it wasn't for you, Nathan." She rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "And besides, who's to say my life is more important than yours? I would never wish this on you...consider it payback, I guess, for all those lives I took."

"Please, that's hardly your fault. You had no control over that. It was that Maury character- God, I don't want to tell you what I see when he's around." That haunted, scalded, _horrible _face leered at me in my mind, chuckling ominously. "I almost beat Parkman to death last time he was around." She was looking at me as though she couldn't believe it. "Yes, that's what the Nightmare Man does. Thankfully, he's out for the count now. But that's not my point." I regarded her earnestly, ready to read every change in her eye when I asked her the question that had been racking at my brain since it was announced that Niki would die. "What about Micah?"

A radical change occurred in that endless blue- that deep, impenetrable well of sadness seemed to grow, and the oncoming tears made them misty. "I'm going home soon. There's nothing more that can be done for me. I'll get to see him again." She smiled at me widely, taking her hand away from my shoulder to wipe her eyes, making sure a single tear didn't escape. I was reminded of Claire- of Bob's speech about needing Claire to save Niki. I decided not to say anything- I could not say whether I trusted the Company with my estranged daughter yet.

"But he needs you! Do you remember when we met in Vegas?"

She nodded, smiling idly. "Yes, I enjoyed the parts that I remember."

"Right." I chuckled lightly. "The whole night you talked about Micah. He really means the world to you, doesn't he?"

She mustered a smile. "Everything."

"Which re-enforces my initial point."

Sniffling, she let out a single, harsh laugh. "So that's why you should have gotten the virus and not me?"

I nodded, unable to grasp the look of disbelief in her raised eyebrows and ironic smile. It was true- she deserved life. Me? That was questionable. I know how pessimistic and depressing that must sound, but truly...it's questionable. Live my life and get back to me. "You don't seem convinced."

"Nathan, you've got children of your own-"

"Who hate me," I interjected. "And rightfully so."

She pressed on, shaking her head at me tersely. "You are still their father, and I know that you love them. And your brother...I hear he's alive. You've got plenty to live for. Now quit being silly and talking about what you should have done, because you did everything right." I felt her hand on my arm, rubbing soothingly. "True, I wish I wasn't dying, but I'd never want anyone to take my place."

"Unless they were evil."

"Well, yeah. There's that."

She was so sweet- so determined to smile in her pain. _I wonder if she is in pain, _I had asked myself, studying her face. I'd never want her to hurt. Yet again, it seemed almost sacrilegious to see someone so saint-like suffer as she did. She'd been through hell and back, and still sat there looking at me so kindly. I wished so deeply that it made my stomach ache...I wished with everything inside of me that there was something- anything- that I could do to take her mind away from this. This small, white-walled room- the disease flowing through her. Doctors poking and prodding her as if she were a lab rat. If I couldn't cure her, I could make her smile. And that would be a small yet monumental relief.

I suppose she saw the light bulb go off in my head. "What?"

I glanced out through the transparent door and into the long hallway where a large glass window revealed beautiful, party cloudy skies, the sun breaking through it in long, golden beams. It been so long since I'd been up there. So horribly long. "It's a nice day outside." My blood was itching for it...I hadn't flown since the day Peter died. _Or wait- he _could_ still be alive. _That glimmer of hope lifted my spirits and made me want to do it even more.

"Yes...yes it is. Would you like to go for a walk? Or- _oh." _She smiled at me slyly. "You wouldn't...with me? _Really?" _She scooted to the edge of the bed, suddenly jittery, as though the prospect frightened yet exhilarated her.

"Do you want to?" The idea of flying with another person would've seemed ridiculous and out of question to me five months ago, but now...it seemed oddly romantic. Ever since I found out about my ability I had treated it like a hidden deformity. Something to be ashamed of. I loved the feeling of the wind in my hair, of floating weightlessly and seamlessly through the sky, but then again- it made me different. And Petrelli's aren't supposed to be different. Funny how things work out.

"Oh my God...I-I...I'd love to, Nathan!" She hopped off the bed with high spirits, a complete picture of youth and health. She stood before me, absolutely beaming. I felt suddenly proud; I had done that. "Just please don't drop me. Have you ever dropped anyone?"

I smiled wistfully at her. "I've never flown with anyone. Well, other than Peter. And that didn't end too well." Suddenly I felt very vulnerable, but I shooed away the feeling and gazed up into her deep blue eyes, all traces of sadness either gone or hidden from me. Her eyes now appeared to me like two vast, open skies, the most beautiful of blue. I wanted to fly in them, as ridiculous as it sounds. "I wouldn't drop you, Niki. I'm sure." _I would never drop you. _She quickly grabbed my cold hands, sparks of warmth running up my arms from how good it felt for her skin to be on mine. It had been so long since someone had touched me; I realize that now. The only time before that was when Parkman was beating the tar out of me, and I didn't really associate that with loving embraces. Loving embraces didn't usually leave me with a busted lip. Her touch reminded me of Heidi, before she thought I was a raving lunatic...when she brushed the hair away from my miserable, deformed face, still thinking that it was all caused by a mere car accident. _I wish_.

"Then let's go. I've been cramped up in this room for days." She cast a glance around the small, square room, distaste written plainly on her face. As she was holding my hands, I examined the bandage on her arm closer- the bruise spreading slowly beneath it. My blood boiled with injustice at the sight of it- if only I could have a political debate with the divine forces that had decided it best for her to die. Well, in order for that to happen I would need to believe in divine forces, but nevertheless. I let her pull me upwards off of the chair, eyes glued to hers. They seemed to sparkle in the dim light of the room. "This should be fun, right?"

"Right." I was suddenly terrified as she pushed open the glass doors and led me up a few flights of steps towards the roof. It was as if I was about to share with her the most dire of secrets; something I had never shared with anyone before, save for Peter. But this was different. This was special. When I flew with Peter in my arms, it was a moment of life or death- fear and dread and doom had been swelling in my heart then...I thought that I was going to die in a blaze of fire, and my whole life had been flashing before my eyes. But this...I was going to share the skies with someone. It excited yet terrified me. The Petrelli in me was telling me this was foolish. I should never take pride in something that separated me from the people of New York that I once strived to represent. But it didn't separate me from her; it only made us closer. That was something I wanted. That, and to make her smile. We were approaching the final steps, where the ceiling ended and revealed a large, brown door above our heads.

She turned around and smiled at me, a giddy grin on her face. I savored it, once again in disbelief that I had caused that. _Me. _She squeezed my hand and placed her other hand on the door, pushing upwards, the large metal door slowly rising with a creak, daylight squeezing in through every inch she revealed. Finally she pushed upwards once more and the door fell away to the side completely with a loud clang.

I almost gasped. I'd had my share of flights in good weather, but today was picturesque. The warm rays of sunlight hit Niki and I as we looked up through the small, square doorway, the unbelievably blue sky stretched out endlessly before us. My heart lurched. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to be reunited with it. It had been far too long. "_Wow," _she murmured breathlessly, grasp loosening on my hand.

"Wow is right." She seemed frozen in time, staring at the sky above with awe written on her lightened face. Excitement rushing through my veins, I clasped her hand and wrapped my arm around her waist- I couldn't wait any longer. "Let's explore it."

"Nathan-!"

I pushed off of the ground with all my might, zooming upwards past the level of the roof and into the sky, looking down at the city below as we rose higher and higher, sunlight splaying on her face and dancing in her wide, disbelieving eyes. She clung to me; I felt the imprint of her bandage against my back. The wind howled in my ears as I continued upwards, hands around her waist as the wind blew forcefully at us. This was everything that I treasured. "Jesus, I've missed this," I muttered lightly into her hair and she squealed in delight, eyes fixed on the shrinking building below.

I slowed down when we were amongst the clouds, slightly impressed by the total lack of fear on her face. She seemed fearless to me now- a fearless, saintly woman, and I suddenly wanted to kiss her. But I fought the urge...I wanted to make her smile, that was all. Besides, she was a dying woman. I didn't want to bother her with unwanted kisses when she had such little time left. She looked up at me, face breaking into a radiant smile. "You've got me?" At this height she seemed like an angel- sunbeams on her face and blue eyes melding into the cerulean sky.

"Yes, I've got you." I tightened my grip around her- I would never let her fall. She was light, the perfect size for a flying companion. "You're not scared?" She shook her head side to side, smiling. "I'm impressed."

"I trust you."

Before I knew what was happening, I felt soft lips on mine. It was a quick peck, but it a kiss regardless. Sure, I had kissed her before, but that had been Jessica. Those kisses had been deep and uninhibited and somewhat painful. That kiss was Niki- no one but her. I breathed into her hair, her steady heartbeat against mine. Staring intently at her, the sunlight sparkling in her eyes, I found myself somewhat speechless. It all seemed too good to be true. In fact, it _would_ be too good to be true if everything wasn't bogged down by the weight of her steadily approaching death- the feel of the bandage against my back served as a reminder to that. God, nothing can be perfect, can it?

"Thank you," she whispered into my ear, snuggling against me. "Truly, thank you." From the corner of my eye I saw her bite her lip, tears once again brimming on the edges of her eyes. _"You made me forget."_

I swallowed hard, a true and rare smile springing on my own lips. "Same here_." _And it was true- up there in the endless stretch of sky, I thought of nothing but that moment. No images of Heidi filled my mind, no thoughts of Simon and Monty slowing coming to hate me...that scalded face was miles away from me, unable to haunt me when she was in my arms. I wanted to kiss her again-deeply with the sun warming our backs- but it would have felt wrong. Her own desires was all I was concerned with, not my own. She'd just lost a husband; it would be wrong to venture past the boundaries that she had set. I breathed in the crisp air, wind blowing through my hair. "Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go?"

Her blonde hair whipped around her face and I felt her smile against my cheek. "Anywhere but Vegas." I laughed and played with the ends of her hair, still holding her tightly against me. Suddenly a look of sadness overtook her features, which was then replaced by a look of anticipation.

"What?" Her face was so expressive; it was almost an experience to behold it. I could trace every thought and emotion that flickered across it. I wondered if everyone could do that with her or if it was just me.

"I'm leaving today. I'm going to see Micah in New Orleans."

It hit me then. "Are you going to come back?" I felt like a stranded puppy. Yes, I had accepted her mortality and waning health, but time moved so slowly sometimes. I thought I had so much more of it- so much more left with her. Ironically, it had already run out. Figures. The question seemed so pathetic and cliche on the tip of my tongue, but I had to ask it. I needed to know. I _had _to know. "Will I ever see you again, Niki?"

Her lips faltered for a moment. "I..._don't know._"

That was good enough for me. I squeezed her tightly, still among the clouds. "We'll see, then." A flicker of hope made my heart leap. "When are you leaving?"

"About an hour." Another frown. I wish she'd smile again. I'd have to try- perhaps I'd get lucky once more. Every smile I caused seemed like a gift to us both.

"That's enough time to tour the city." She brightened, laughing lightly into my ear. "Have you ever visited Hartsdale before?"

She shook her head, eyes scanning the miniscule city below. I expected a look of fear or terror to plant itself on her expressive face as the realization of how far up we were really hit her, but it remained neutral and happy as she examined the tiny buildings and cars and people from behind the misty layers of clouds. Clinging to me tighter, she spoke. "No, I can't say I have."

I met her eyes, sparks of electricity shooting through my entire body as I beheld her, losing myself in the blue of her eyes. She had been my first willing companion, and I was eager to share the world with her. I was eager to feel her in my arms as I took her to exotic countries and towering mountains- to kiss her on the top of Lady Liberty's torch or on the tip of Theodore Roosevelt's mountain-carved nose. Oh God, I wanted all the time I had left on this earth to be spent with her, to share my deepest yet most intimate secret with her everyday as we soured through sunlit skies or below the white glow of the moon, stars twinkling overhead. I'd been able to fly for so long, but I hadn't begun to realize the endless possibilities until now. Until I'd found someone to fly with. But our time was short, and at that moment all I wanted to do was spend every moment of it with her. "Alright then. Let's see the city, shall we? Then you can go back to your boy...Back to Micah."

That smile sprung to her lips- the perfect smile I'd been working towards the entire day. That smile had been the reason I entered that white-walled room in the first place- to rescue her from the weight of mortality and pain that was slowly enveloping her as she began the horrible descent downwards. Well, I wasn't going to watch her fall. Not without a fight to get her back up, both literally and figuratively.

Stolen in this sudden streak of brilliance, I quickly kissed her soft cheek, beginning a slow and calm flight over the bustling city below us, arms wrapped protectively around her, feeling every rhythmic beat of her heart against my own. In an hour, she would leave to New Orleans, and I may not ever see her again. But I also had an entire hour left with her, and time always seemed to go by dreamily slow in the sky. I wouldn't like it any other way. Besides, there was always the chance that she would live. And I clung to that hope, as well as her, and looked down at the city below, wishing beyond all reason or desire that someday soon I'd be flying with her lying on my back underneath the faint, white glow of a full moon, the sweet-smelling air rushing past our bodies. It sounded so poetic- so perfect. Even if things were never perfect...it sounded believable to me. Maybe that was the hope talking; I could honestly care less.

But even after I brought her down from the skies and back into the building so she could say goodbye, hands brushing through her hair, fighting the strong urge to kiss her, that hope seemed still believable. And as I watched her walk away, a glance back with a wistful smile, I knew without a doubt that I would be seeing her again. I _knew_ I would. And we'd be flying again soon.

It only made sense.

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**A/N: **Eh? Eh? Did you like it? Just a little something we'll imagine happened in-between the last two episodes. You know, trying to fill in a little bit for those writers that don't want to do their job. UH. I cannot express to you how frustrated I am. They're ruining my favorite show! Fingers crossed that they reach an agreement before season two is totally screwed! Geez, I wish I was Hiro right now so I could go back in time and negotiate with those writers. Or better yet, control their minds via Matt Parkman. _That's_ what needs to happen. Oh, and the whole 'two heroes will fall before the end'...if that's Nathan...I'm done, man. But anyway, yeah, if you've read this far I'm assuming you enjoyed the story. You know another way to express your pleasure? UM, review (a-cough, cough, cough). Seriously though, all reviews would be heavily appreciated. Why thank you for your time. Oh, also, this is my first story from first person point-of-view, so hopefully it's not too shabby. You should let me know if I did good (a-cough, cough, cough).


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